Becoming Your Authentic Self
Have you ever asked yourself, "Why do I keep doing the things I don't want to do? I know better!" Most of us have been there—knowing the right path but still choosing a different one. It's not usually about lacking knowledge or awareness of what's best for us. The real challenge often lies in understanding what holds us back from making the decisions that would improve our lives.
This conflict between knowledge and action can leave you feeling stuck, frustrated, and disconnected from your true self. But here's the truth: you are not alone in this struggle. The inner journey of discovering your authentic self involves examining the intricate relationship between the heart's wisdom and the mind's logic. And therapy is the perfect space to explore this balance.
Why We Struggle with Authenticity
Many people struggle with understanding and accepting who they truly are. They live their lives based on expectations placed on them by others—parents, society, and friends—and, in the process, lose sight of their desires, dreams, and values. Over time, this creates a tension between what you believe you "should" be and who you really are.
Therapy provides a safe environment where you can unravel the stories you've been telling yourself for years. You may have beliefs about what you like and dislike, what you can or cannot do, or even who you are—beliefs that may no longer serve you. Some of these beliefs were likely given to you, not chosen by you. Examining these ingrained beliefs is a critical part of becoming your authentic self.
What Does It Mean to Be Authentic?
Being authentic doesn't mean being perfect or always knowing what you want. It's about living in alignment with your most authentic values, making choices that reflect your genuine self, and learning to love and accept who you are—flaws and all. Authenticity is a journey of self-awareness, vulnerability, and courage.
Here are a few key signs you're living authentically:
You are comfortable expressing your true feelings, even when they might not be popular.
You make decisions based on your values, not what others expect of you.
You feel a sense of inner peace, even in difficult situations.
You don't feel the need to hide parts of yourself to fit in.
It's important to remember that being authentic doesn't happen overnight. It's a lifelong process of growth and self-reflection.
How Therapy Helps You Become Your Authentic Self
So, how does therapy help with this journey? Therapy is a space for self-exploration and healing. It's where you can dive into the beliefs you hold about yourself and your world, examine whether they still serve you, and learn new ways to approach the challenges that arise in life.
Your therapist's role is to help you identify the patterns of behaviour that are keeping you stuck. Together, you'll explore the beliefs that have helped you and the ones that are holding you back. Your therapist will provide you with research-based insights into the science of behaviour, helping you understand why you may be repeating certain actions even when they don't serve you.
Here are some key ways therapy can support you in becoming your most authentic self:
Exploring Core Beliefs: Often, we are unaware of the deeply ingrained beliefs that influence our daily decisions. Therapy helps you bring these subconscious beliefs to the surface so you can examine them and decide whether they truly align with your values.
Understanding Triggers: Certain situations or emotions may trigger responses that aren't in line with who you want to be. Therapy allows you to explore the root causes of these triggers so that you can respond with more intention.
Building Self-Compassion: Many people struggle to become their authentic selves because they are overly critical of themselves. Therapy can help you develop self-compassion, which is crucial for embracing who you are without judgment.
Learning New Coping Strategies: Therapy provides you with tools and techniques to cope with life's challenges in healthier, more authentic ways. Whether it's learning to set boundaries, manage stress, or navigate relationships, therapy equips you with practical skills to make choices that align with your true self.
Healing Past Wounds: Often, the reason we struggle with authenticity is that we are carrying emotional wounds from the past. Therapy gives you a space to heal these wounds so that you can move forward with greater self-awareness and self-acceptance.
Practical Steps to Start Living Authentically
While therapy is an incredible resource, there are also small steps you can start taking today to live more authentically. Here are a few to consider:
Spend Time in Self-Reflection: Journaling, meditating, or simply spending time alone can help you connect with your inner self. Reflect on your values, desires, and what makes you happiest.
Practice Saying No: It's important to set boundaries and say no when something doesn't align with your values. Learning to say no is a key step in living authentically.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People: The people you surround yourself with have a huge impact on your ability to live authentically. Seek out relationships with people who accept and support you for who you are.
Let Go of Perfection: Authenticity isn't about being perfect. It's about being real. Let go of the need to be perfect and embrace the messiness of being human.
Final Thoughts: The Path to Authenticity is Worth It
The journey to becoming your authentic self can be challenging, but it is incredibly rewarding. Therapy offers you the opportunity to explore your inner world, heal old wounds, and create new patterns that align with who you truly are. As you start living more authentically, you'll find greater peace, fulfillment, and connection in your relationships and your life as a whole.
Remember, becoming your authentic self is not a destination—it's a lifelong process. And every step you take toward embracing who you are is a step toward living a life that feels more meaningful and true to you.
